Friday, July 24, 2015

how to live with a genius idea

so i had what i thought was a fan freaking tastic idea to hike to sliding rock in Alpine. little did i know, sliding rock isnt even a thing anymore. im sorry but excuse me? so we hiked all the way up to the other part thats not even that cool. i had to walk through streams and small rivers to get to it. it was beautiful and all but majorly disappointing. all im saying is i better fall asleep tonight before 4 in the morning, cause that was a freaking work out. and my mom was getting on me about taking 'baby steps' and my argument was 'mom, safety first' because when i took bigger steps, i started going too fast and needed Billiam to be my stopper because gravitys a bitch. anyways, my feet and my back hurt. we decided that i wont be in charge of planning family activities anymore. mostly because 9 times out of 10, my ideas either suck or dont work out. occasionally both but were moving forward.

~kirsten

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

how to live with a family like mine

fam·i·ly
ˈfam(ə)lē/
noun
  1. 1.
    a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
    • 2.
  2. all the descendants of a common ancestor.
    "the house has been owned by the same family for 300 years"
    • adjective
  1. 1.
    designed to be suitable for children as well as adults.
    "a family newspaper"

The King Family:
      CRAZY

i dont think more needs to be said about family.
sure, theyll be there for you
but that doesnt really mean much when youre having to go through everything i went through.
im not even sure what else there is to say.
probably ive already said too much.
sorry bout it.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

how to have creative ideas to blog about

well...
i think im creative
but i also think im funny
and not a lot of prople get my sense of humor
i just kind of blog whatever im feeling
and 9 times out of 10
it upsets my mom
or someone close to me
so i honestly couldnt really give you advice on this scene
but does that stop me?
nope.
being this open and upfront about life doesnt work
for a lot of people
but you just gotta not care what other people think
if it makes them feel better about themselves
to think youre out of your mind
let them.
how does what they think in their head affect you?
most of the time
it doesnt.
if you want others to let you be
you have to let them be
isnt that the golden rule?
to treat others how you want to be treated?
last time i checked
it was.
so there are probably most of you out there
who dont think im funny
who think im too abrasive
and you can think that
but if you start talking about it
'omg. did you read what Kirsten posted?
wasnt it so wrong?'
then theres the door
i hope you let it
hit you in the ass on your way out

how to live when theres no food in your house

and you dont drive
sooo yeah youre kinda SOL
we do have stuff to make fruit smoothies though
but i just got my wisdom teeth out
and smoothies was all i could eat for a few days
so im over the smoothie scene
my sister Emma spent the night last night
and is supposed to be making breakfast
but shes not
doesnt she know?
obviously not
i would go get her
but im not wearing pants
i'll go get her if shes not down here
making us food
in 10 minutes
ALSO i have no idea
what shes going to use to
make breakfast with because
WE HAVE NO FOOD

Friday, July 17, 2015

how to live with a robber threat

or how to live in a neighborhood where robberies keep happening
hide yo kids
hide yo wife
and hide yo husband too
cause they rapin errybody out here
you are so dumb
you are really dumb
fo real
you dont gotta come and confess
we-we lookin for you
we gonna find you
im lettin you know that
so you can run and tell that homeboy

hes hoppin up yo windows
snatchin yo people up

except for no but really
some of my neighbors have had their homes broken into
during the day
and the robbers have gone and unlocked their basement windows
so that theyll have easy access for later

hide yo everybody
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzNhaLUT520

Sunday, July 12, 2015

how to live with hurt

if theres one thing i know how to do, its that i know how to hurt. how to hurt mentally, how to emotionally hurt, and theres one more thing that i know how to do, how to hurt physically. i have tons of experience with that. probably more than enough. ive experienced more tons of these three types of pain but physical gets like 7 gold stars by it because not only did i have to relearn to walk on a shattered pelvis, broken tib/fib and a broken hip, but some genius thought that all that pain wasnt good enough and made me iron-man and from like the endish of November until the end of May, i get to feel all my bionic (i am iron man, something something something) parts shrink and move and then expand when it gets warm and move again. it feels like my bones and rods of metal are having a party and they didnt invite me.
how rude.
technically, i got my wisdom teeth out on tuesday, the 7th so you would think i would be really hurting, right?
but nope.
this is nothing.
when my sister Emma got hers out in like 2011, she slept for three days straight.
ive already caught up on all the sleep ill need for the rest of my life.
my sister Jacquelynnes birthday was the 9th and we went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner.
me and mom and all my siblings and Chaddy and my cousins, Madi and Jordan.
Madi and Jojo were astounded that i had just had mouth surgery and wasnt home, sleeping.
they dont even know.
plus when you take into consideration all the shit ive gone through, wisdom teeth removal is nothing.
like yeah, it hurts, but not really very much and if i cant handle a little pain, then i cant do anything.
but i can handle a lot of pain.
more than most of you will ever get to experience and then some.

how to live with crazies

this is about how youre supposed to live a good life at home with a crazy family.
STEP ONE: ignore most of the shit that goes on
STEP TWO: love everyone
STEP THREE: try to not have anything to do with your brother. your only brother knows how to push your buttons and thats his favorite past time
STEP FOUR: dont watch tv (because you have enough shit to worry about without rotting your brain being one of them)
STEP FIVE: try your damnedest not to kill yourself
STEP SIX: well you can imagine it, as long as you dont make a plan on how. a lot of people will miss you and God wants you here, plus suicide is stealing a life from God and Hes not about that
STEP SEVEN: are we almost done?
STEP EIGHT: spend most of your time in your bedroom but when you do have to come out of the Batcave, only speak when spoken to (or if its one of your siblings, dont respond)
STEP NINE: if one of your siblings is talking to you, and its not like "hey Kik, go kill yourself", count your blessings and that one (usually Jaymie) is your new favorite
STEP TEN: remember how you and Jaymie were the best of friends before it was all shot to hell? but now shes not your baby anymore, partly because she grew up, and partly because you are not the same person as before. so when shes being nice to you, cherish it and be 10x nicer back.

if you follow these steps, itll be better.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

how to live with fears

i dont have a lot of the typical fears.
fears like fear of sharks, robbers, heights, snakes, kidnappers, or death.
im scared that i wont ever find love.

my mom denies it, but she told me that i needed to start accepting the fact that i would probably never get married. im sorry but who the hell wants to hear that?
and from your mom no less.

part of me is about how i can get married and not invite her to the wedding.
Raquel and Joe Dicenzo said they would pay for it if i give them the big Brazilian wedding like Juliana wouldnt.
you see, my mom is all about weddings and stuff and what she can do to help. i feel like im a disappointment to my mom because im not dating or engaged.

i can understand how people think this fear of mine is irrational, especially considering that my patriarchal blessing says that i will find love and everlasting happiness but im worried that i wont find it in this life or the life to come. do you guys realize that i dont tell anyone that?

but i just told you. i mean, i must trust you guys a lot...

Friday, July 10, 2015

how to live with your wisdom teeth

you know how i was saying the other day that i wish there was a book titled "How To Live With A TBI"? well just barely, i had the idea to create one. so thats what this is. except for its not really a 'how to live with a tbi' book (cause i have no idea how to do that), but its a how to live with 100 other things that i actually know how to do. i just got my wisdom teeth out, and so im going to tell you how to live with your wisdom teeth, when youve needed them out for like 18 months. its going to hurt like a bitch. your teeth are going to be all up and all over your other teeth. guess its a good thing you never had braces before. but youre sure as hell going to need them now... as soon as your incisions heal. which may be never. thats probably not true. you just got your teeth extracted on Tuesday. feels like they wont ever heal though. probably because youre not taking the best care of them, my bottom right side is wickedly bruised. not me nor my mom know how that happened but im just glad theyre finally out. technically, youre only supposed to rinse your mouth out every morning and night but ive been a rebel and have been rinsing three times a day. i know, i know, im probably screwing it all up, but welcome to my life.
im out
♥ kirsten