the knowledge that you arent very smart...

maybe im just meant to be alone. i dont know but i have never been good at the whole relationship thing. IM LONELY. but im also not very patient and heaven knows he was just trying figure out what he wanted. i do not take being let down very well. so i got the hell out of dodge. i frequently lie to myself though. i pretend he was the problem but its me. hi. im the problem its me.

chronic stomach pains

Hi my chronic stomach pains are here to stay, I fear. It could possibly be stress & anxiety-caused, which I think it may be, because I just got home from the worst trip ever, or it could be God slapping me upside the head because I forgot him AGAIN. Living with a disability is hard. Forget all the pain of receiving my disability, the day to day LIFE of a disabled person is--for lack of a better word--SHIT.

jokes! no food allergies!

i can gladly announce that i have ZERO food allergies! just dogs and a specific weed that i dont remember ever. i eat whatever the hell i want.

when someone you love changes

 or they don't. only you know when their desire to change, growth, or lack thereof, is a deal breaker for you. my current frustration is that my lover drinks too much. he has the beer belly and everything, but at the same time, so do i, AND I DON'T DRINK. im 4,000% positive that he has certain things he wishes i would be better about that im just not. 

a crappy lifestyle

I need to not eat whatever the fuck I want, you know? I need to work out every day and whip my ass into shape before I die of a heart attack when I'm 32. 

annoying upstairs neighbors

I have to say that my Hispanic (I think) upstairs neighbors are even more annoying than my former upstairs neighbors that would have sex all the time. At least at San Marino, I lived in luxury apartments with at least thicker insulation, so I could only overhear the literal pounding occasionally. Let me tell you that these fuckers (a-literal) are stomping around at all hours of the night and/or screaming at their puppy and dropping shit or yelling at one another ALWAYS. Or slamming doors. That's my personal favorite🙄 Meanwhile, I got in a huge fight with Erik and he informed me that the reason why I live with Nicole and the reason why I most likely always will is because I'm fucking retarded with my money (his words, not mine). I KNOW I'm impressionable, okay? The last thing I need is to be steadily reminded of my shortcomings.

I can usually take the sky is falling from every Chicken Little out there, but not him.

how to live with immense food allergies

Like a month-ish ago I went to the doctors for my three month checkup and was informed by my doctor that I am allergic to everything. I have Celiac's disease which means no wheat, barley, or rye, I'm allergic to citrus, and lactose-intolerant. So basically I can't eat anything. The good news is that this should mean I will lose weight. But by starving myself because I can't eat. If you have any suggestions, let me know!