the knowledge that you arent very smart...

maybe im just meant to be alone. i dont know but i have never been good at the whole relationship thing. IM LONELY. but im also not very patient and heaven knows he was just trying figure out what he wanted. i do not take being let down very well. so i got the hell out of dodge. i frequently lie to myself though. i pretend he was the problem but its me. hi. im the problem its me.

chronic stomach pains

Hi my chronic stomach pains are here to stay, I fear. It could possibly be stress & anxiety-caused, which I think it may be, because I just got home from the worst trip ever, or it could be God slapping me upside the head because I forgot him AGAIN. Living with a disability is hard. Forget all the pain of receiving my disability, the day to day LIFE of a disabled person is--for lack of a better word--SHIT.

jokes! no food allergies!

i can gladly announce that i have ZERO food allergies! just dogs and a specific weed that i dont remember ever. i eat whatever the hell i want.

when someone you love changes

 or they don't. only you know when their desire to change, growth, or lack thereof, is a deal breaker for you. my current frustration is that my lover drinks too much. he has the beer belly and everything, but at the same time, so do i, AND I DON'T DRINK. im 4,000% positive that he has certain things he wishes i would be better about that im just not. 

a crappy lifestyle

I need to not eat whatever the fuck I want, you know? I need to work out every day and whip my ass into shape before I die of a heart attack when I'm 32. 

annoying upstairs neighbors

I have to say that my Hispanic (I think) upstairs neighbors are even more annoying than my former upstairs neighbors that would have sex all the time. At least at San Marino, I lived in luxury apartments with at least thicker insulation, so I could only overhear the literal pounding occasionally. Let me tell you that these fuckers (a-literal) are stomping around at all hours of the night and/or screaming at their puppy and dropping shit or yelling at one another ALWAYS. Or slamming doors. That's my personal favorite🙄 Meanwhile, I got in a huge fight with Erik and he informed me that the reason why I live with Nicole and the reason why I most likely always will is because I'm fucking retarded with my money (his words, not mine). I KNOW I'm impressionable, okay? The last thing I need is to be steadily reminded of my shortcomings.

I can usually take the sky is falling from every Chicken Little out there, but not him.

how to live with immense food allergies

Like a month-ish ago I went to the doctors for my three month checkup and was informed by my doctor that I am allergic to everything. I have Celiac's disease which means no wheat, barley, or rye, I'm allergic to citrus, and lactose-intolerant. So basically I can't eat anything. The good news is that this should mean I will lose weight. But by starving myself because I can't eat. If you have any suggestions, let me know!

how to live with bitches

I was talking to Mindy Vance-Okuno yesterday. Maybe she had a point to her rudeness but come on. I was just wondering if Vance had left a suicide note (PS he didn't) leading me to believe he didn't mean to die. As Melinda oh so kindly reminded me, he had a girlfriend, that wasn't me, whom he loved a lot, so why the hell (my words, not hers) would he want to die? Maybe he didn't. But you didn't have to be so God-damn rude about it. I was just trying to be honest with you and tell you what my thoughts were...

Thanks for nothing, kiss my ass.

How to live with a published book

https://www.amazon.com/Im-Still-Here-Kirsten-King-ebook/dp/B077SZPZSQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1513128831&sr=8-1&keywords=i%27m+still+here+kirsten

K that's all I wanted to say. Check it out. It's 0.99 so show some love[:

How to be grateful

Sometimes I get so caught up in what I can't do, I forget to rejoice over the things I CAN DO
The things I can do greatly outweigh what I can't. Allow me to show you. Things I can't: drive.
Things I can: I can walk, I can talk, I can breathe on my own, I can swallow (most of the time lol), I can shower, I can use the restroom, I can feed myself, and I can dress myself, to name some of the simple, everyday things. That's quite a few, versus the one thing I can't. That's all I wanted to say.

How to live with a completely broken heart

I had this great (I thought) idea to write this post, because this is something I feel I know how to do. Then I thought about it again and realized that I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just figuring it out as I go along. Which isn't really working out too well. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Then I really don't want to work out. I guess it's a good thing I don't want to eat, because my gluten intolerance is back (plus, I'm depressed). I think it's a stress related thing. All I know is that I'm in pain if I don't eat, but I'm in pain if I do. I'm not totally sure which pain I'd rather have. My dad said to try and cut out carbs for a while but almost everything has carbs, and the stuff that doesn't is stuff we don't have. The best way to live with a completely broken heart is to just not eat. It's worked wonders for me. Don't eat and promise yourself you'll never take that sorry wiener back. It'll work, I promise. And then, one day, your Prince will come. Hopefully, you'll get lucky and your someday will come a lot sooner than mine has. I've been waiting almost 21 years. Life has never looked more bleak than it does right now. Just remember that it's always darkest before the dawn. But that doesn't do crap for me now, while it's still dark. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. There's always tomorrow.

How to live with a sister... And a piano.

My sister Jaymison loves to play the piano. Which is fine and whatever but she plays it so loud with the far right pedal on and I'm trying to go to sleep here. She obviously doesn't care whatsoever. All I'm looking forward to is going to bed and Max, the dog we're babysitting (or dogsitting?), sleeping in my room again. He's such a good dog(: I'm really excited. If only Jaymison would cut the piano out and stop fighting with Zoe. This is the life.

How to live with a boyfriend

Not like physically live with him (although that would be nice) but live knowing you have a boyfriend.

It's almost hard not to think 'oh ya I'm hot shit because I have a boy that's mine'

But let's be real, if you were really as hot as your ego is saying, why is James your first since the day after tomorrow?

Wouldn't you have had like 7 before him?

No, you say?

Because there's only one him, you say?

Or maybe it's because all the other boys you went to high school with, were just  that: boys.

James is two years younger than you, but he doesn't seem that way.

You asked him the other day if he just thought that the older girl thing was hot and he caught you off guard: 'no, not really, I like you because you're beautiful.'

Oh. Okay. 

Then, he says "plus, it might just be because I'm so tall, and I'm not calling you short, but what are you, 5'4"-5'5"?"

5'6" and a half thank you very much.

To say he's taller than me, would be a bit of an understatement.

He's 6'2" and if I weren't already self conscious about it, I sure as hell am now.

B.t.dubs, how did that even become an expression? Is hell really sure or something?

Anyways, I got so caught up in thinking about James that I can't even remember what I was posting about.

I love you.

How to live with a mostly broken heart

When you're dreamin with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.

My heart is mostly broken.

Still there but not working correctly.

I can feel it beating.

I'm still alive.

But it just doesn't function like it should.

I thought it would be, but after everything I've been through, it's just not.

Maybe it never will again.

I hope that's not the case.

I honestly feel like you were my last hope and that sure as crap didn't work out.

Is it me?

Am I the problem here?

Iif I am, is there any hope for me?

No?

Well cuss. What do I do now?

Try a little harder?

What the hell do you think that was, if not me trying?

Am I just shit out of luck?

Yes?

Well fine.

I don't even need anyone.

I mean, it would be nice but if it puts all this stress on me, who the hell needs that anyways?

Not me, that's for damn certain.

I guess I'll just be a cat lady.

Because animals know how to love, unconditionally.

You don't.

Thanks for nothing, kiss my ass, goodbye.

how to live with a family

my moms younger brother just left and earlier he was talking to me and telling me that when you have two really stubborn, hard-headed people (talking about me and my mom) fighting or not seeing eye to eye on things, that a lot of the time, its a lot easier if you are the one to give and try to make a settlement. now, if you know my uncle and his background, you would not think that Uncle Joey knows crap about relationships, but in the last few months he has seriously turned his life around. he stopped drinking, he stopped smoking, he turned his house into an acceptable family area, no more hookers... i could go on and on. i am so proud of him. like im feeling a lot of family-related pride right now. and not just for Joe, for my whole family. life is good. and i feel so blessed. blessed that i even have a family, blessed that ive had the life experiences to make me who i am today and teach me that life is a brat to everyone in their own way, just i needed a big thing like my accident to get it through my hard head. im blessed to live where i do and be able to live the life i do and blessed that i even get to live.  my blessings are too many to list here (or anywhere, really) but Go-go did give me a whole new outlook on life and he left me with a challenge. he said that the next time i get hyper-annoyed at something, i need to remind myself to take a step back and cool down before i do or say anything. so thats my two-cents for today.

how to live with a genius idea

so i had what i thought was a fan freaking tastic idea to hike to sliding rock in Alpine. little did i know, sliding rock isnt even a thing anymore. im sorry but excuse me? so we hiked all the way up to the other part thats not even that cool. i had to walk through streams and small rivers to get to it. it was beautiful and all but majorly disappointing. all im saying is i better fall asleep tonight before 4 in the morning, cause that was a freaking work out. and my mom was getting on me about taking 'baby steps' and my argument was 'mom, safety first' because when i took bigger steps, i started going too fast and needed Billiam to be my stopper because gravitys a bitch. anyways, my feet and my back hurt. we decided that i wont be in charge of planning family activities anymore. mostly because 9 times out of 10, my ideas either suck or dont work out. occasionally both but were moving forward.

~kirsten

how to live with a family like mine

fam·i·ly

ˈfam(ə)lē/

noun

1. 1.

   a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.

   • 2.
2. all the descendants of a common ancestor.

   "the house has been owned by the same family for 300 years"

   synonyms:

   ancestry, parentage, pedigree, genealogy, background, family tree,descent, lineage, bloodline, blood, extraction, stock.

   • adjective

1. 1.

   designed to be suitable for children as well as adults.

   "a family newspaper"

The King Family:

      CRAZY

i dont think more needs to be said about family.
sure, theyll be there for you
but that doesnt really mean much when youre having to go through everything i went through.

im not even sure what else there is to say.

probably ive already said too much.

sorry bout it.

how to have creative ideas to blog about

well...
i think im creative
but i also think im funny
and not a lot of prople get my sense of humor
i just kind of blog whatever im feeling
and 9 times out of 10
it upsets my mom
or someone close to me
so i honestly couldnt really give you advice on this scene
but does that stop me?
nope.
being this open and upfront about life doesnt work
for a lot of people
but you just gotta not care what other people think
if it makes them feel better about themselves
to think youre out of your mind
let them.
how does what they think in their head affect you?
most of the time
it doesnt.
if you want others to let you be
you have to let them be
isnt that the golden rule?
to treat others how you want to be treated?
last time i checked
it was.
so there are probably most of you out there
who dont think im funny
who think im too abrasive
and you can think that
but if you start talking about it
'omg. did you read what Kirsten posted?
wasnt it so wrong?'
then theres the door
i hope you let it
hit you in the ass on your way out

how to live when theres no food in your house

and you dont drive
sooo yeah youre kinda SOL
we do have stuff to make fruit smoothies though
but i just got my wisdom teeth out
and smoothies was all i could eat for a few days
so im over the smoothie scene
my sister Emma spent the night last night
and is supposed to be making breakfast
but shes not
doesnt she know?
obviously not
i would go get her
but im not wearing pants
i'll go get her if shes not down here
making us food
in 10 minutes
ALSO i have no idea
what shes going to use to
make breakfast with because
WE HAVE NO FOOD

how to live with a robber threat

or how to live in a neighborhood where robberies keep happening
hide yo kids
hide yo wife
and hide yo husband too
cause they rapin errybody out here
you are so dumb
you are really dumb
fo real
you dont gotta come and confess
we-we lookin for you
we gonna find you
im lettin you know that
so you can run and tell that homeboy

hes hoppin up yo windows
snatchin yo people up

except for no but really
some of my neighbors have had their homes broken into
during the day
and the robbers have gone and unlocked their basement windows
so that theyll have easy access for later

hide yo everybody
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzNhaLUT520